I watched through the window as our two son's and their families stood around, quietly talking it looked like, and snapping pictures.  But Adam's 15 year old daughter Allie had her purse over her shoulder so maybe they were going somewhere.  Then I saw them all wave goodbye and  Rob's family walked toward their nearby home.  A few minutes later Adam's family headed down the driveway in their SUV.  The horn honked, an arm from the back seat window was waving goodbye to Rob's family.

'Oh my gosh, they weren't supposed to be leaving until tomorrow!" I thought,  "But I think they're heading off now!"  "Quick Ben," I   shouted, "Quick, out on the porch!  Andy's leaving for his mission now!.  Hurry let's get out on the porch."  We sat down on the step, side by side, just as their car made the turn to head up the street past our home.  "He's leaving.  Now!   Oh look!  He's waving!" We waved till they were out of sight.

Then I just burst into tears.  

Typically in a Mormon family a missionary send off is a big, important, even sacred event, often anticipated for a long time.  These young people leave home and all that's familiar to serve two years in a place they don't select, paying their own way,  happy to share the good news of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, all gather at different times the last few weeks for a warm, and poignant send off.  There's the opening of the mission call letter from the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.  Then the conferring of the Melechezidek priesthood, most importantly the temple endowment, then the farewell gathering of family and friends, and then the final good byes with warm hugs, tears and smiles all around.

In our family's case it was different.  We, Adam's parents, were left out of it all.  Allie texted me a little over two years ago to say that  her mother Dolly had told her children that from now on they were not to come to our home, speak to us, or communicate with us, "because you guys love money more than you love us.!"

I was beyond words! 

My Family Circumstance - Part 1

Hi -- my pen name is Sammie and my husband is Ben.

Is my family like all of yours?  I hope not.  

I'm in my mid-60's, in great physical shape, educated, "courteous, friendly, kind. . . " and I think I have most all the other well known Boy Scout traits.  I'm just your average normal, good person.  I think. 

But this is my life:  my husband and I are shunned by 2 of our 3 sons and their families, who live next door, on the property we gave them.  Our third son barely talks to us. Our daughter and her family adore us.  

I'm writing this blog to try to connect with others who live in similarly odd family situations.  I know we aren't alone.  Let's learn from one another, and go forward and upward in life, with or without  those who currently reject us. 

What works for you?  I'll share some things that work for me.  I'm determined to make something good of our sadness and loss.  Let's do it together.